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Informational Meme!

Meme snagged from sphynxle 

If it's in bold, then it's true.

I am shorter than 5'4.
I think I'm ugly sometimes.
I have many scars.
Tan easily.
Wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/I've had braces.
I wear/wore glasses.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.

Family Home/Life

I've sworn at my parents.
I've run away from home.
I've been kicked out of the house.
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I've had children.
I've lost a child.


I'm in school.
I've fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do my homework.
I've missed a week or more of school.
I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
I failed more than 1 class last year.
I have a job.
I've had a job for at least 2 years.
I've stolen something from my job.


I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I've snorted while laughing.
I've laughed so hard I've cried.
I've glued my hand to something.
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.


I was born with a disease/impairment.
I've gotten stitches.
I've broken a bone.
I've have my tonsils removed.
I've sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
I've had serious surgery.
I've had chicken pox.


I've been on a plane.
I've been to the UK.
I've been to Spain
I've been to France.
I've been to Russia.
I've been to Finland
I've been to Asia.
I've been to Africa.


I've seen a shooting star.
I've wished on a shooting star.
I've seen a meteor shower.
I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
I've played a prank on someone.
I've ridden in a taxi.
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I've eaten Sushi.
I've been snowboarding.


I'm single.
I'm in a relationship.
I'm engaged.
I'm married.
I'm currently in the middle of a divorce.
I've gone on a blind date.
I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I've gotten divorced.
I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
I've kept something from a past relationship.
I have an ex I don't think I'll ever get over.


I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
I've had a crush on a teacher.
I am a cuddler.
I've been kissed in the rain.
I've made out with my best friend.
I've made out with someone who I wasn't dating.
I've hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.


I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
I've snuck out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I've cheated while playing a game.
I've cheated on a test.
I've been suspended from school


I regularly drink.
I've passed out from drinking.
I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
I can't swallow pills.
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time, no problem.
I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
I shut others out when I'm depressed.
I take anti-depressants.
I'm anorexic or bulimic.
I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
I've hurt myself on purpose.
I'm addicted to self injury.
I've woken up crying.

Death & Suicide

I'm afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I've seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.
I've planned my own suicide.
I've attempted suicide.
I've written a eulogy for myself.


I own over 5 rap hip-hop CDs.
I own an iPod or MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Gap.
I own something from American Eagle.
I own something from Gucci.
I own something I got on e-Bay.
I own something from Levi's.
I buy more than half my clothes at Wal-Mart

Of new jobs, trains and ferrets

This was surely a very exciting week. And with exciting I don't mean "Omg, yay!", but a real roller coaster ride of feelings as well as things happening.
As I have already written - Whiskey is dead. It still hurts to think about him. Every now and then I seem to hear him walking through the room & search for him before realizing he isn't there anymore. It still brings me to tears, and cute animals often make me think of him. Out of the sudden comes the picture of him lying there at the vet's, dead. And bang - crying. But I am coping, and my new job is helping me with keeping me busy most of the time.
Okay, that's not true. I'm still bored most of the time. But this time I am allowed to be bored to death, because it's part of my job.
I am now working in a primary school / kindergarten and soon we will also have a "Gymnasium", which is not for sports but some kind of a high school, only for smart kids ;)
Anyway, my new job (that officially won't start before next week, but I'm already there anyway) is half media designer, half girl Friday. Last one is the bigger part at the moment, in fact the only one. I'm starting very slow on answering the phone, sending out contracts and filing things. I feel a bit like Jesse from my story, who began just like that. I don't think it will change over the next few days, because the school is going to end next week and we will move in an other office. AFTER the 4 weeks of that I wouldn't have chosen to but was forced to take, as the school is closed down. But since MoR is right in between of this time, I'm fine with it. 
The school is a private school and bilingual, which is a very big plus for me. I'm far away from bossy and her "God. Crap. Crapcrapcrap!" and am surrounded by patient people who take their time to finish a task, say "no" if they can't do something and are very nice. Most of the talking takes place in English, because half of the staff is from England, America or whereever English is the mother tongue. My boss is a very British lady with a good sense of humor. I am totally in love with the British sense of humor & love watching Black Books and Dr. Who - now I have this all day. She's very lovely, and I love the sound of her English. 
We also have 2 dogs in the office which belong to the boss, Einstein and Maggie. Einstein reminds me a lot of Whiskey, as he is very calm, cute, and some sort of stupid, too. I love this dog, and he loves to cuddle. Maggie on the other side... she hates me. She saw me, she sniffed and she hated me. They told me they've never seen her act like that and they didn't know if she would bite me if I'd come closer. I hope she will get used to me soon, because I'm not up to hurt her and it's annoying if I can't move around without fearing to upset her. I kinda think it's the ferret smell. She will get used to me.
The children in this school are cute, too. Even though most of their parents are rich (I filed the contracts, I saw the numbers) the children are very lovely. The school tries to make no difference in color of the skin and looks, everyone is nice, holds open the door and helps if someone needs help. It's a very good atmosphere. And I don't mind vetting them all day whenever they come in with tiny little scratches =)
The downsides of the job is that I really miss Braunschweig the city. I loved working in the mall and having all the stores I need around. It was not only that I was used to all this, but I actually loved the town. There isn't much in the part of Hannover I'm now working. I found a small supermarket and stuff like that, but I would have to move even further into the city to actually shop anything. Besides, the city isn't half as beautiful as Braunschweig is. This coming from me as someone who is born in Hannover. Usually people like me are supposed to hate Braunschweig, whereas Braunschweig people hate Hannover. Why? I don't know. I still think it's stupid. 
Downside is also that I don't have Subway. But since I get free lunch each day in school (15€ a month for all this food is like it's free!) and it's very tasty, I guess I can live without Subway and all the others. Of course I also miss Joanne 1 & 2, but that's how life is. I'd have moved on one day anyway, and I'm still glad that I'm not under bossy anymore.
A big problem for me of course the long trip. I'm now out like 12 hours a day, leaving at 7am & coming back 7pm. It takes even more time now I have to take the bus - which is because last night there was a train accident right behind my station. One train derailed, another crashed into it, also derailed, and fell into a garden.  Some people are hurt, but no one died, so they had much luck. Mostly because it was close to midnight and there were only 66 people on the train (the other one was a goods train). If it had been rush hour it would have been way worse. Also we have rail works atm, and the trains were very slowly anyway. And of course no one of the people living there were in the garden.
For me it means I leave around an hour earlier (oh so early!), walk 10 minutes to the station, take the bus for 20 minutes, get off, get on the train for 5 minutes, get off, wait 10 minutes, get on the next train, get of after 20 minutes & walk 15 minutes. With all the waiting for the bus in between... well, today I was on the road for like 2 hours. Same thing back. If everything would work fine, I'd only be on 2 trains & some walking & would be there after an hour. But I decided to take the time on the train as time for reading, writing and editing. At the moment it's reading, "The book of the Hopi". I'm still in the myth section (followed by: Legends), and I already love it. It gives me so much for my story, I will have to leave out half of it to get a normal sized novel. But it's very interesting. I love the fact that these myths are ooooooold, very very oooold, and they speak of moving axis of the world, ice, fire, volcanoes and all that weird stuff that scientist now found out about the earths past. And the Hopi already knew. Fascinating!
Anyway, I'm glad if I won't have to take the bus too often. I hope Tuesday will be the last day. Earlier if I'm lucky, but I'm not counting on that. 
Not being away too long would be great not only for me but also for Cherry who must be very lonely. When I come home she doesn't leave my side for a while before leaving me to sleep a bit again. Of course she misses her brother. I'm not sure if she knows he is dead of just things of him gone someplace else, but still he misses him. And with me being out 12 hours and being asleep 8 hours we don't have much time together.
Which means, I need a friend for her. It feels a bit like a betrayal to Whiskey that I'm already searching for a new ferret. But it's mostly for Cherry, who is now alone that much. I want her to have company when I'm in Czech Republic. Besides, there can't be any replacement for Whiskey. He was special. No rerun. Only a new beginning.
So I was searching for ferrets around me. There are lots of babies atm, but they are either really expensive (around 200€? Hello?) or won't be given out until the end of July. I know they need to stay with the mother for some weeks, but I really want them to be here when I am off work, and I don't want them to be all alone just from the beginning on when I'm in Cz. So far I haven't gotten any answer yet. But if everything goes well, I won't need it anymore anyway.
Because today I saw a cute ferret searching for a new home: Muffin. He's 3 years old and a Siamese.Apparently he has a walking disability that doesn't affect him much, and he's only neutered half, as his 2nd testicle is inside his tummy. It doesn't work anymore, he doesn't stink more than any ferret (so I was told), and he seems to be a very kind animal that loves to cuddle. The owner has him for 3 months now as she got him when the partner of her own ferret died (like in the situation Cherry is now in). Then her ferret died too and after 3 deaths in 1 year she doesn't want to continue with ferrets anymore, which is understandable as I had the same with gerbils. 
We talked some time on the phone and on Sunday I will grab Cherry and visit her and Muffin so they can get to know each other. Of it works, I will take him. He is very cute, sounds like a very awesome character, and I don't mind the faults she told me he has. I guess not everyone would like a pet with a disability which makes it hard for him to find a new home. I'm looking forward to Sunday big time. I so hope everything will work out fine, because it sounds like the perfect solution. For me, for the owner, and for the two ferrets of course, who won't have to be alone anymore. Well, IF it works. 
Now this was a huge update. Just like I said, it was a very exciting week. Life can be a bit calmer & more boring again. Next week!

I got Whiskey in the summer of 2005 as one half of the very first ferrets I ever got. He was a cute little boy who looked exactly like his sister until he started to grow twice as big as she was. 
From a litter of 7 or 8 little ferrets I chose him because he was the most stupid and stubborn, who got stuck in the hay he lived in and couldn't manage to get out. With time he grew smarter, but inside still was the stupid little ferret boy that made me laugh so much. He never failed at cheering me up, and he didn't mind me hug him when I was sad or needed someone. 
Even though he didn't like nature at all, he enjoyed being outside and always found his way back home. He was awesome to walk with and easy to show around. Vet visits never were problems with him. He never bit anyone or was aggressive at any kind, not even when a small stupid child hit him. I could have done anything with him without him even protesting. Except maybe bathing him. He hated that.
I still don't know why he had to die so early. With 5 years he could have lived another 2, maybe more. But on last Sunday, he slowly started to die.
He was apathetic, couldn't move and didn't eat anything. I stood with him through the night and brought him to the vet early Monday. They never found out what it really was - a poisoning, kidney problems... whatever it was, the vet hoped he might survive. But this afternoon, I got the call I feared for the most: He had a seizure they couldn't stop and he was screaming. I hurried to be with him, but it was too late. When I arrived, he already was dead, and I could do was hold him while his little body went cold and tell him I'll miss him.
Even though I hold him and touched him I still can't get that he is really gone, I still find myself searching for him to hug him, because I am so sad. Of course he is not around anymore. But I guess my mind will need some more days to realize.
I only got 5 years with this to me very special ferret, and he had to leave way too early. I wish I had checked on him earlier today, but- well, now it's too late. I will miss him bad, and even though I will have to find new company for his sister Cherry, I will always remember this little ferret boy as one of the best pets on earth. Ever. 
Goodbye, Whiskey. I hope Rainbow Bridge for you is without any pain, but with all the things you loved. Have the most fluffy bed you can dream of, the best toy to chew on and of course lots of treats of your favorite kind. Meet Loki and Alex and all the brothers and sisters that may be up there. 
We'll meet again one day, baby <3

Random stuff

I know I should be editing Puck right now, but since Twitter is dead I thought I might use the time to blog. So.. here I am =D

I still don't feel like exam is over, I'm still missing out all kind of things, whysoever. I hope this will change next week, when I have some time off.
Or maybe tomorrow, when I have this very special talk with one of the important people in my company about my future there. I know absolutely nothing about what will be said there, so I'm scared to death. But I will find out. They can't do more than throw me out, I guess. Or move me over to another office far away from bossy. Being away from bossy would be nice, but it would also mean I wouldn't see Joanne 1 & 2 that often. I'd miss them so much. And I would stop working in the mall. I love the mall. I can shop there whenever I want, I can get all the food I want, and it's cool in the summer and warm in winter, which is really awesome. The other office wouldn't have anything of this. It's frigging hot in there. Geez.
Anyway, I'll find out tomorrow, I guess.

At the moment it seems like the people are meaner than usual. Way more often than usual people shout mean things after me. 9 times yesterday. I wonder what they are thinking. "Hey, let's see how long it takes her to cry"? Seriously, people! Even those you consider as ugly still have feelings!

Someone who brightens up my day is an unexpected new friend in my life. One of our Turkish neighbors has his grandchild over. She saw me and started to love me right away. Now every day I'm coming home from work she is there playing in the backyard, and when she sees me, she runs towards me & takes me hand. The little cupcake can't be older than 4. Adorable little girl. <3

Another friend news, a rather sad one, is about Joanne2's girl. 2 weeks ago she was in a car accident. She came with friends from the cinema when another way too fast car crashed into theirs. She wasn't the driver of any of the cars, but she is the only one really hurt. Whereas the people driving too fast weren't hurt at all, poor 16 year old Kim broke her arm that bad she won't be able to use it right for the rest of her life. The doctors still try to save as much flexibility as possible, but it won't be more than 50%. 
Hearing that the Monday after the accident I was quite in a shock. I was out that night too, and I was even thinking about how horrible it would be if someone would crash into us. It's something you never think it could happen to you. And then suddenly it does. And it's not even your fault.
I'm very sorry for poor Kim. I wish I could do something to cheer her up, else than writing a card, that is. I hope neither she nor her mother will lose faith  & the will to live even with a disability. The whole family has been through a lot of bad things already. I just hope they'll stay strong. <3

Coming home (or something like that)

Actually I don't really know what to blog, but I felt like blogging, so.. here I am.
Life is getting a bit easier again. Exam is  nearly over. I still got to bring the last printed things to the official bureau tomorrow, hopefully before 12 noon, as that's when they stop accepting printed things. I still hope I will be alright. After that I will have to wait some weeks until I get the results, somewhat close to 23th of June. If I pass, I will be free.

The problem will be bossy, though. She is used to have me as her assistant (which pisses me of), and she always tells me how she doesn't want to actually share her work with anybody, because she is afraid of losing some of her money. I always laugh about the fact that on the one hand she mourns about too much work and how she can't handle everything that comes in, but on the other hand she doesn't want to share anything.
Anyway, to get a real working contract on my own I need something written on it saying what I am actually doing. It means she HAS to share. She knows that. But still... I don't think it will be easy. But I will fight for it. At the moment there are some people in the office who directly talk to me because she is so annoying .I also got some tasks for myself that will keep me busy over the next weeks. Helping you? I'm sorry, I'm busy. 

So, whatever will happen with bossy & me, I'm trying to find back to normal life now that I don't have to spend all my time learning for exam anymore. I still feel like rushing through the days & not getting anything done. There's so much to do and so little time. Guess it's time to have some days off as soon as bossy is back from holidays. It's not like the stuff is really important (as life threatening), but still I would like to get some stuff done and find back into a calmer, more happy life. It's about time.

The one thing I'm really wanting to do right now is editing Puck. I found a contest I wanna take part in. If I win, I can get 500€ and a contract. You know, IF. But I will take part. I got time until October, so I will use summer to actually edit the story - something I wanted to do for half a year now but couldn't because I had to focus on learning. Somewhere in between I tried to get some creativity out with writing, but writing didn't work. Everything lead back to Puck. So.. Puck it is for this summer. Let's see how much I can get out of this nanowrimo =)

I guess that's all the important stuff for now. All I wanted to say is: Hello, here I am again. 
Let's get this blog thingy running again =D

Projekt 52/11 - Coffee-Time

  "Coffee-Time! Na los, her mit dem schwarzen Gold. Gib! Gib! Meins! Meins!"

"Coffee time! C'mon give me the black gold. Give! Give! Mine! Mine!"
 "JellyBellys sind ein furchtbares Suchtmittel. Am schlimmsten sind die, die nach Popcorn oder Marshmallows schmecken. Einmal gegessen und man will immer wieder welche. Zum Glück hat der Boss gerade welche im Haus. Solange er nicht da ist, kann ich auch... war das die Tür? Uhm... Hi, Boss... Ups?"

"JellyBellys are addictive! Those tasting like popcorn or marshmallows are the worst. Once tried you want more and more. Luckily the boss has some at home. And as long as he is not here, I can... was that the door? uhm.. hi, boss. oops?"

Projekt 52/09 - Auf Achse! / on the move

 "Als Reporter bin ich oft auf Achse, meistens mit dem Auto, manchmal aber auch mit dem Zug. Gott, ich hasse Zug fahren. Es gibt so viele Dinge, die passieren können. Verspätungen, Unglücke... Aussichten wie diese. Laaangweilig!"

"As a journalist I'm often on the move, most of the time with my car, but sometimes also with a train. God I hate taking the train. There are so many things that could happen. Lateness, accidents... views like this. Booooooring!"

Projekt 52/08 - Wärme / Warmth

 "Winter ist ja eigentlich vorbei, aber manchmal zieht es eben doch noch sehr. Außerdem soll es ja wieder kälter werden in den nächsten Tagen. Da geht es nichts über einen farbenfrohen Schal zum Aufwärmen. Das und einen schönen warmen Kaffee." 

"Winter is over, but sometimes it's still cold in here. Besides, it is supposed to get colder over the next days anyway. Best thing you can own for days like that is a nice colorful scarf to warm up. That and a nice and warm coffee."

Projekt 52/07 - All you need is love

 "Liebe? Liebe ist... keine Ahnung was Liebe ist, aber ich liebe die Liebe, wenn ich wen liebe, den ich liebe.... Wen sollte ich lieben, wenn nicht die Liebe meines Lebens? Oh wenn du mich nur erhören würdest, Liebste...   Not a ordinary girl, almost shining like a pearl, she´s a rockstar -  we´re the outcast of this world, ust like kindred me and her, she´s my rockstar..."

"Love? Love is... I don't know what love is, but I love love when I love someone I love. Who should I love if not the love of my life? Oh if only you'd only answer my prayers my beloved one... Not a ordinary girl, almost shining like a pearl, she´s a rockstar - we´re the outcast of this world, ust like kindred me and her, she´s my rockstar..."